The FIli Durin School of Flirting
by yayhodr
Summary: Fili, believing that Ori is in love with a girl, gives the other advice on how to flirt. Little does he suspect that it's someone else entirely that Ori has his eyes on. Modern AU. One shot. OrixKili


**The Fili Durin School of Flirting**

"How do you flirt? Do you really just pick on the person?"

Fili choked on the chip he had just popped in his mouth, his eyes bugging out. He stared at Ori in shock, trying to figure out how the younger man had come up with that. "No, Ori. You don't. That's a good way to get yourself a reputation of being a douchebag," he said when he recovered, shaking his head. "That's what you do when you're in Middle School, and that's why 12 year olds are awful," he said, shaking his head. Ori looked down, seeming to be lost in thought. "Ori, do you have someone you're interested in?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ori turned slightly pink, but nodded. "I do," he said, gnawing on his bottom lip. Fili smiled. Ori was shy, and quiet and never seemed to be interested in romance or anything except his books really. He knew that whatever girl had caught Ori's interest must be special to have Ori asking for help flirting.

"What's she like?"

Ori opened his mouth, and then closed it, swallowing heavily. "She has brown hair, and brown eyes, and she's always happy, and she has a beautiful laugh. She's kind to everyone, but she's never let anyone take advantage of her." Ori said thoughtfully, a wistful and far of look in his eyes. "I think she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen, but I don't think that she sees it, to be honest," he said softly.

Fili smiled. "That's sweet. I'm sure she likes you too, you're really sweet to everyone," he said.

"I don't think she knows I exist. I always get flustered and lose my nerve when she comes around," Ori responded, looking sad. "She's so beautiful and I don't know what to say to her. It's ridiculous, I know. I'm 21. I should be able to ask someone out without falling all over myself."

Fili smiled. "Do you want me to help you ask her out?" he said sympathetically. Ori had always been a little shy about social interaction, and he'd always felt bad. The other man had always had very few friends, only really being friends with the ones that Fili or his brother, Kili, who was a month younger than Ori, had introduced him too. Ori was sweet though, always polite and Fili honestly thought any girl would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend. He could only remember Ori having one, a girl who had been taking advantage of Ori's sweet nature in order.

"Can you?" Ori asked, looking hopeful.

"Of course. It's really easy when you actually know what you're doing," Fili said, pushing his plate aside., "Come on, I bet I can teach you before Kili's final is over, and then Kili and I will go with you and you can try and see what she says," he said.

"What do I do first?"

"Usually, I introduce myself first. I think it's kind of seedy and gross when you just walk up to someone and ask if it hurt when they fell from heaven. So just walk up, sit down, and say, 'Hi, I'm Ori."

Ori nodded. "I can do that- I think."

"And don't use a lame pick up line. She'll just roll her eyes and walk away," Fili said. "Kili is the only person who likes pickup lines that I know," he said, shaking his head. His younger brother was cheesy, and lame.

"No pick up lines, okay."

"Compliments are a good idea. People like to be told they're attractive, or that you like their shirt. Tell her that she looks lovely today," he advised. "Or tell her you like her shoes, or that the color of her dress looks good on her," he said, nodding. "Talk about common interests. Don't talk about yourself unless she asks. And don't act nervous."

"But I will be," Ori pointed out, looking slightly put out.

"Just remind yourself that she's a person too. She won't bite. Unless she has a kink," he added as afterthought. "Oh, and don't cross your arms around yourself, or act closed off. Just be friendly, really."

"Okay," Ori nodded.

"and the most important rule of trying to attract the opposite gender is if she says no, you back off and don't act offended. If she makes it clear that she's not interested, she's not interested, and you have to back off or you're an asshole," Fili said seriously.

"You mean some people don't know that no means no?" Ori said, his eyes wide.

Fili blinked. He'd forgotten who he was talking to. Ori would probably never do anything to make someone else uncomfortable. "Sorry, I forgot I'm not talking to Kili. Kili doesn't seem to read body language very well," he said, shaking his head.

"I doubt Kili needs to flirt," Ori said, turning slightly pink again.

"You'd be surprised," he said. "In all my 24 years, I've never seen someone as oblivious as Kili is," he said, shaking his head. "Hey, Ori, who is this girl anyways?"

"Oh, she's no one you know, really," Ori began.

"Girl? Ori likes someone?" Kili's voice sounded amused and also curious as the brunette sat down next to Ori.

"Yes, he does," Fili said. "and now that you're done with your final, we're going to go find her and stand there for moral support," Fili said, standing up. Kili raised an eyebrow, but nodded, moving to stand up as well.

Ori's heart was pounding its way out of his chest, he was fairly sure of it. "Wait," he cried, diving for Kili's hand. Fili and Kili stopped, watching as Ori stammered and fumbled for the right words, still holding onto Kili's hand. "K-Kili. I like yo-your dress."

Realization dawned across Fili's face, as confusion spread across Kili's. "I don't wear dresses, Ori," Kili said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, you're right- s-sorry. Uh-uh…I'm Ori!"

"I know. I've known you since I was a baby," Kili said dryly. Fili felt bad for Ori, the middle one had completely lost his nerve, not that he had ever had any.

"I-um-I-did it heaven when you fell down from hurt?" Ori stuttered, his eyes wide.

"Ori, are you trying to flirt with me?" Kili asked, blinking.

"Y-yes." Ori nodded, his eyes wide. "I-I am."

"You said brown hair, brown eyes and a beautiful laugh. Ori, you think that Kili is the most beautiful person you've ever seen?" Fili asked, crossing his arms. Ori nodded again, looking down. He was blushing, his face the color of the red hoodie that Kili wore. "Aww that's sweet, Ori. Really sweet," he said with a smile. Fili had never been one to trust his brother with anyone. But no one had ever told him that Kili was the most beautiful person they'd ever seen like Ori had.

Ori let Kili's hand fall to the ground, looking down. He stared pointedly at the ground, not even looking up when Fili excused himself, suddenly remembering that he wanted to talk to his advisor. He only looked up when he felt Kili sit back down and an arm snake around his waist.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," Kili said softly.

"I just made a fool of myself," Ori said, looking sad.

"Maybe you did, but I thought it was cute," Kili admitted. "It was adorable. I like-I love- how sweet and shy you are. It makes you, well, you, and I like that."

"You like me?"

"I do, I really do," Kili admitted. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?" he asked. Kili had never see himself as being attractive, not when he compared himself to his brother. Ori nodded, eyes wide.

"I do, I really do. From the inside out," Ori added softly.

"I think you're beautiful too. I always thought you were just really beautiful, in this way that only you could be." Kili said softly, shifting away from Ori and smiling at him with those warm eyes that killed Ori every time he looked at him. They stared at each other for a moment, neither one saying anything. And then, Kili leaned forward softly. He pressed a soft kiss to Ori's lips, and then pulled away. "I guess I'm trying to say that I've always seen myself with someone like you, but in the last year, I've figured out that I don't want to be with someone like you. I want to be with you and only you."

"I want that too," Ori said, his fingers ghosting up to touch his lips where Kili's had just been.

"I think that means that we go on a date," Kili said, looking thoughtful. "But I could be wrong," he added.

"I think you're right, and I want to go on a date with you. I have since I was about 13." Ori smiled softly. "Bofur, Bifur and Bombur are having a party at their house on Friday night. Do you want to be my date?"

"I was just going to ask the same thing," Kili said with a smile, and then he leaned forward again, kissing Ori softly. "But, since we've known each other for 21 years, do you think we can just avoid all the awkwardness and just say we're in a relationship? I don't want to go to a party that my family is going to be at with a date and have it just be a casual thing. Not with you, anyways."

"I'm always up for avoiding awkwardness, I attract awkwardness like moths to a flame." Ori said with a smile. "So then you're my boyfriend?" He kind of liked that they had known each other for long enough to be able to just have an open and slightly awkward conversation and just be in a relationship, like that.

"and I'm your boyfriend. God, we sound like 12 year olds," Kili said, shaking his head. Ori grinned at him- at his boyfriend-and laced their fingers together, opening his mouth to speak but cutting off as Fili tumbled out of the bushes with a victorious cry. "Fee, were you spying on us?" Kili asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just in case dear old Ori had a heart attack."

"Phillip Durin, you are insufferable," Kili said, glaring at his older brother, who resembled the Cheshire cat at this point.

"I know, but you both love me anyways. Hey, Kee, you finally found someone that Mum and Uncle will actually approve of. I know I do," he said, grinning even wider. "I sense that this is the start of a beautiful and life long relationship!"

Kili threw Fili's leftover sandwich at him. "Get out of here and stop ruining my life, you dummy," he shouted as his brother sprinted away, shouting something about the Fili Durin school of flirting. "He's ridiculous," he said apologetically.

"All brothers are." Ori admitted. "At least you don't have to come out to yours." He knew that his half brother, Dori, and his brother, Nori, would be okay with it, they had always been accepting of everyone, but he knew he did have family that wouldn't be so accepting.

"Well, I do have to come out to my mum and uncle. But hey, it's not like Dori and Nori are going to hate you. and even if they did, you'll always have me." Kili said, smiling at Ori, who nodded. "We do it together."

"Together. I like that."

* * *

**AN: **I don't even know where this came from. Well. Actually I do. There was a post on tumblr about flirting and I was like "aww, that would be Ori flirting" and then this happened. Ori is kind of the most adorable little dwarf ever.  
I'm planning on writing a couple of little one shots featuring other things, and of course, I'll take prompts or suggestions on things Fili should give them advice for, or even little one shots featuring other moments with Kili and Ori, who are adorable. Also, Ori needs a last name so suggestions are welcome.


End file.
